Call jokes
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
A man with a gun and a sword walks into a bar, sees a girl, and falls in love with her.
Man: "Hey, you are one beautiful girl. Will you be my girlfriend?"
Girl: "No, because you have a gun and a sword."
Man: "But I am already in love with you."
And then the man leaves to get the girl flowers and candy.
The girl is glad that he has gone, until thirty minutes later, when he shows up again.
Man: "Here are some flowers for you, beautiful girl."
And the girl throws the flowers in his face, and then everyone in the bar laughs, even the bartender.
Man: "And here is some candy."
And the girl throws the candy in his face, and everyone in the bar laughs again, and some teenagers walking down the street see it as well, and then they start laughing too.
One of the teenagers says "Hahaha, that is so funny. Seeing a man give a girl candy, and the girl throwing it in his face to show him that she hates him."
Girl: "I hate you, ugly man!"
Man: "Bartender, can I get some candy for my girl?"
The bartender laughs when he hears that, and then he says "Are you crazy? We don't serve-"
And then the man shoots the bartender with his gun and stabs him with his sword. An old man walking down the street can't believe what he just saw, so he calls the police to arrest the man who killed the bartender.
999 Service Guy: "999, what's your emergency?"
Old man: "I just walked past a bar, and I saw a man shoot and stab the bartender. Can you please get the police to arrest him? Tell them he is the man with a gun and a sword in his bag."
999 Service Guy: "Okay, no worries."
1 Hour later, the first man tries to dance the tango with the girl, and the girl kicks him in the leg, and then he tries to kiss her, and she punches him in the face.
Guy sitting at a table in the bar: "That man is crazy. Trying to kiss a girl who hates him."
And the police show up.
First Policeman: "Which man has a gun and a sword in his bag?"
The girl points to the man and says "This man."
Second Policeman: "Let's arrest him."
Man: "No, wait! I can explain."
Third Policeman: "Get in the back of the car."
When the police get to the Police Station with the man, the first policeman says "You will stay in prison for 10 years."
One week later, the man breaks the bars and escapes prison.
The police see him and run after him.
Third Policeman: "Come back here!"
The man doesn't listen, and he keeps running, so the police shoot him and he dies.
And instead of saying rest in peace on his gravestone, it says rest in pieces.
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.