But jokes

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.

He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.

Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.

I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!

What goes up and down but stays in the same place?

Stairs.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.