But jokes

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

Can a box match? No, but a tin can.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place?

Stairs.