But jokes

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

Can a box match? No, but a tin can.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.