But jokes

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.

What has a head, a tail, but no body?

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

What can you catch, but not throw?

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?

A different sized elephant.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.

This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

Say "I cup" but in words.

I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."