Business jokes
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.