Business jokes
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why can’t orphans work at AC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Memes
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]