Business jokes
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Why can’t orphans work at AC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Memes
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com