Business jokes
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
Can orphans eat in a family restaurant?
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.