Business jokes
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
oh my
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
No wonder some of the phones today have no home buttons.
The makers were orphans.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."