Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
