Business jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
ASDA.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!