Business jokes
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
I thought it stood for microsoft
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.