Business jokes
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.