Business jokes

Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!

I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.

He one day said his business was "remarkable."

My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

Well, because it's impastable.

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

Why did the prostitute lose all her money?

Because she got f*cked.

Don’t fart in an Apple Store.

It has no Windows.

What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?

He ordered some cock-bang-ho.

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

I like dicks... sporting goods.

What is Instagram called in USA?

Instaounce.

Panera Bread.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!