Business jokes
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.