Business jokes

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Panera Bread.

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

What is Instagram called in USA?

Instaounce.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!