Business jokes

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Panera Bread.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I like dicks... sporting goods.

What is Instagram called in USA?

Instaounce.

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!

Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.