Business jokes

Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Panera Bread.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I like dicks... sporting goods.

What is Instagram called in USA?

Instaounce.

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!

Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.