Building jokes

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked too much!

"What did one wall say to the other?"

"I'll meet you at the corner!"

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

Why take a nap on the toilet?

Because it's a restroom.

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Yum!

The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.

It's a tower.

No, it's a plane.

Me: Nope, it's 9/11.

What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?

Two large planes.

A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”

The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.

9/11, am I right?