Building Jokes

Why is my plane delayed?

Because someone hit the Sears Tower.

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

What will Donald Trump build in our devices?

A firewall.

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

A meme showing an antelope in a field with text that reads "DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A SPECIES OF ANTELOPE CAPABLE OF JUMPING HIGHER THAN THE AVERAGE HOUSE? THIS IS DUE TO ITS POWERFUL HIND LEGS AND THE FACT THAT THE AVERAGE HOUSE CANNOT JUMP."

Tilted Towers is gone.

Why are Muslims terrible at football?

Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.

How did they lose 2 Towers?

Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.

(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

Are you the Twin Towers?

Because I want to smash you.

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.