Building jokes
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
Which room is the safest place in the house?
The living room.
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Tilted Towers is gone.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.