Body jokes

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

I got shot once. Now I'm holey.

Nobody knows how bad you smell.

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

It squirted in my eye, God dammit!

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

Why do midgets run on balls?

Because the grass tickles them.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.