Body jokes

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

Man, I miss Savor, savor these balls in ya mouth!

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey!

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not Susie!"

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

It squirted in my eye, God dammit!