Body jokes
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
Balls.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Y yo body built like a half a tooth pic lol.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Yo mama so fat that when she was in Uranus, she picked her butthole.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.