Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Body Jokes
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
Man, Uranus is so big!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
What did the poo say to the fart:
You blow me away!
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
