Body jokes
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Does breath smell like 🍑?
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Boobies!
Penis, neck, rope?
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.