Body jokes

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

What do you call somebody with no nose?

Yo, your hairline looks like the letter “O”.

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.