You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
