Body jokes
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
What has a tail, a head, but no body?
A coin.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.
Daikon legs.
Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.