Blue jokes

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball.

Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.

Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!

Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-

Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?

A baby with flat armbands!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

Blue Takis?

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Violets are blue, roses are red.

Last night your mom was giving me head.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.