Blue jokes

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

What color is Sonic's ball?

Blue because he keeps getting rejected.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.

I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.

What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?

Nothing, it was feeling blue.

If Red gets voted out, what happened?

Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

Lime, Green, and Purple run.

Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

Black killed Red. Black is the win.

LOL

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

Why was the whale sad?

Because he is blue!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I know a pedophile,

And he says he knows you.

Uranus is blue.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.