Blue

Blue Jokes

Michael Jackson

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

Card

What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

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  • Roast

    Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

    Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

    Girl

    What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

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  • Penis

    Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

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  • Grass

    How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

    You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

    Sadness

    You were sad because your grandmother died.

    The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

    God

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

    Life

    5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

    People

    How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

    Comment

    What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

    Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

    Poem

    My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

    roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

    Hairline

    *True story*

    I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

    Eye

    Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

    A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

    Poo

    Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

    Rose

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, All the worse jokes come from you.

    Suicide

    Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.