Blue

Blue jokes

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Dildo

  • Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

    Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

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    Michael Jackson

  • Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

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    Roast

  • Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

    Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

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  • Girl

  • What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.

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    Poem

  • My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

    roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

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  • Comment

  • What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

    Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

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    Eye

  • Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

    A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

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  • Hairline

  • *True story*

    I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

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  • Mama

  • Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

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    Sadness

  • You were sad because your grandmother died.

    The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.