Blue jokes
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.
Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Memes
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
5 4 3 2 1. I love the huge bright sun. 5 4 3 2 1. My life has just begun. Though Akeld and Unkown, make me feel alone, they want be dead, and off with my head, and all I said was... NO FRICKIN' HATIN' IN THESE COMMENTS! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"