Roast

Anonymous

roses are red. Violets are blue. When i taking out trash i remember you

Red

Aiden

Bf:roses are red violets are blue ur my bf and i luv you

Gf:i luv u too

Bf:but the roses are wilting the violets are dead i heard you were cheating ill knock off ur head

Gf:ah about that

Finger

C..shot 92

roses are red, violets are blue, i have five fingers, and the middle one is for u.

1

Box

Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are blue, i’d rather be single then be with someone like you.

Roses are red

Aiden

Roses are red Violets are blue A face like your’s belongs in a zoo don’t worry i’ll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you.

Hand

Anonymous

Helen Keller fell down a well she screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands

0

Depression

PapiChulo

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said “NICE CUT G”

Adoption

Kyle P.

Roses are red… Orphanes are blue… I killed the preist so i could rape them to.

4

Finger

Pick up line

roses are red violets are blue I’ve got 5 finger she will get 2

Red

Andrei

Roses are red Violets are blue We’re gonna make love Because I’m stronger than you

1

Old Lady

Anonymous

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don’t know they have? Like “Blue truck dude”, “Loud dog guy”, “Nice old lady with the rose bushes”, “That slut across the street”,

Grass

Boi

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

2

School

A nut.

Alright kids! Find a good places to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

Zoo

Kristen

Roses are red violets are blue when i saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too

Basement

Anonymous

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?”

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.”

The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…”

“Wait, wha…”

“What?”

Sister

Gwen

5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England’s won. I never thought she’d get it done, but her sister is a nun.

Darkness

Someoneyouhate👁️👄👁️

Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-

Sorry for my bad english U-U

Puns

Funny Bunny

Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU…

Funny

Addison Banks age (8). "Gina Claw Scare"

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER

Pen

Anonymous

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. “There is one small favor I can offer you,” the chief went on. “We’ll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers”. Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, “There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I’ll decide for yo…” “Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?” the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler’s Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, “I’m afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we’d have no way of sending it anywh…” Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. “But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?” the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief’s ear, “You’ll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!”