Blue jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.

I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Your penis is literally BLUE!

What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.

Red, black, blue. The colors of life.