Blue jokes
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why is the ocean blue?
A: Because the fish go, "blu-blu."
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.