Blonde jokes
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
So all blondes are dumb, right?
Is that why there are so many more white people that are blonde than Black?
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"