Blonde jokes

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?

None, because they both forget a lot.

How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

The Blonde got a Ph.D.?

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

What is not the definition of prostitution?

A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?

A brunette fought and didn't get raped.

A blonde thought and did get raped.

What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?

… A quarter pounder with cheese.

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?

He performs fellatio on them.

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”