Blonde Jokes

Anonymous [150]

blonde: can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth) me: naw (drake turn/dab)

Anonymous

Why did the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ pee inside the condom because the doctor told the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ that the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ was going to get a urine test

Anonymous

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”.

Anonymous

ONCE THE ALIENS WAS GONNA HAVE A PARTY , THEY HAD TO PLAN-ET

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a blonde and ur computer? U don’t wamt ur computer to go down on u.

Anonymous
in Anti-jokes

How do you confuse a blonde paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.

Anonymous
in Prostitution

What is not the definition of prostitution a dumb blonde 🙃 that got 💵 money for 👶 🍼 🤱 baby sitting does it 🚲 cycle now?

EJ

A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car.The bland went she said I think poof she was gone

Anonymous

If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00 If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also polish you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob and if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is a canadian and polish with blond hair you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob but if you wanted to fuck him up the ass he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at a adult book store

1
John Grimm
in Adult

How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man 👨 that is a minister and a christain nationalist with👱‍♂️ blond hair 😬 😳 in suspense wait until 🎄 🎅 🤶 christmas to take away ⛪ his church tax exempt status 📱 ☎️ or he will call 📞 🤔 🤷 🤣 the ACLU

Anonymous

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

D......fickenkid.
in Medical

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I’ve ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

Anonymous
in Bar

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde, when she turns him down , he goes to her and says " C’mon I’m a fun guy" .

Pjf

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra Strips of naked lies down in a ally way three chicks walks on by a blond a brunette an a red head

The red head sed I’m not letting that go to waste so she strips of an rides him when she’s finished The brunette then strips of naked an rides him the blonds now worried because she just got her period the red head sez he’s dead don’t let it go to waste so she strips of naked an rides him then he wakes up he then send wow two jump starts an a blood transfusion I’m good to go !

PeachBoss256

A blond haired girl, a brown haired girl, and a ginger haired girl were out walking when the came across some tracks The brown haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks." Then the ginger haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way they are definitely duck tracks." Finally the blond haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.

ITSMINE

how does a blonde turn off the light after having sex? She opens the car door.

hoi

blondies

kangaroo

legally blonde

Anonymous

what do a blonde and a cow have in common… there both fat af

BOOBS SUCK EM

fuck me that’s what she said