Blonde jokes
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
Legally Blonde.
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store? She called for a price check.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.