A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican? Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
