Blonde jokes
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
For every blonde in the world,
scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.