Blonde jokes
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.