Blind jokes
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
someting you should not send your blind friends
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.