I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
