Blind jokes
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.