Blind jokes
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Memes
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?