Blind jokes
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.