Blind jokes
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"