Blind jokes
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
We're no strangers to Aaron. You know the rules and so do I (do I). A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.
We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. And if you ask me how I'm feeling. Don't tell me you're too blind to see. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.
Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.
We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it). Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on). We know the game and we're Aaron play it. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you. Never Aaron give you up. Never Aaron let you down. Never Aaron run around and desert you. Never Aaron make you cry. Never Aaron say goodbye. Never Aaron tell a lie and hurt you.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.