Blind jokes
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
My friend is blind so he can "no see."
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"