Blind jokes

What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?

Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?

It's not hard.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.

Why is the blind man so close to the door?

He can't see it.

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?

They both need to make sounds to be recognized.

Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.

1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?

2nd person: What?

1st person: A pianist.

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

My friend is blind so he can "no see."