Blind Jokes

whats the definition of rude ?

sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife

Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain't got a weapon i'ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i'ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It's real easy just follow the beat Don't let that fine girl pass you by Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind

What is a defenition of tight? A.Putting a blind man in a round room and saying your dinners in the corner.

why cant the blind man see, because he cant see

Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.

my blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike he should have been paying attention

what do blind people take for granet.sight

I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.

The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store

a blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

Kid: Dad whats a dark joke? Dad: well you see that guy over there? tell him to wave. Kid: but dad im blind. Dad: exactly, also the dude had no arm

A blind person walkes into a bar

Because they can’t see where they are going

katie Price's answer for everything is darkness. She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here

Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up

Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up

Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Doctor: * calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency

Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up

911 service: * hangs up*

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.