Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: CUZ I JUST BIT MY TOUNG!!! (Drama scene)
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?
one-time the the dog got bit by snake so my dad had to shoot it my dad said to me "this is happen what to your little brother 'what little brother" exactly
you know i got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk. how dairy!!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window. When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food." When the man looked confused, the owner said; "Windows are nature's vending machine."
You know they say, when you get lemos make lemonade...Well i took that a little bit too literal
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight I told her to keep her chins up
it’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
Mom where are we going To your grandma's funeral Yeah cus i 360 no scoped that bit** in the face.
"Hey I heard you were a bit dow- where's John?" "He died" "oh I'm so sorry but I got you food " (after they eat) "Hey how did John taste seasoned and cooked.?"
I arrived at a restaurant early and manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said I don’t mind and he said OK. Take these trays to table 9.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles ' N Bits!!
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
after 6 months of lockdown
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself
911 whats your emergency? Me: Officer My Girlfriend is dead! Operator: What Happened!? Me: She Bit The Tip
Eminem - 'Morbius' Lyrics.
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis
I tell short people to reach for the stars
They are always a bit short of reach
