my jacket tore a little bit. it's a ripper.
What did the plane say to the tower? ''Yo can I crash at your place for a bit and can my boy crash at your boys place
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
Two men were were on a hike through a forest when on of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake the other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened the doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, ''have u got the cure'' hiker number two just said nah mate your dead
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
Hi this is Stephanie I was a little bit of a walk
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night I did not have time today I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner I
I hope youi have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain
the shark bit me and i feet red down my legs
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded "Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair. Try say that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
A russian, a brit and a terrorist are in an air balloon. First the russian says "i dare to throw a stone down" So he does that but the others dont seem to be impressed so the brit says " i dare to throw a brick down " so again he does that, the russian is impressed but the terrorist laughs and says " i dare to throw a bomb down " so he does that and everybody cant believe what they have just seen so a bit further they land and a shocked and an afraid little boy comes running up to them so they ask what happened, on wich the little boy said " I farted and my school exploded".
Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.