Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
