Beverage jokes
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
"Among Us" tea water.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”