Beverage jokes
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?