Beverage jokes
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
Milk (DYM 115).
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy find his mum.
"What's she like?" he asked the boy.
"BIG COCKS AND VODKA!" said the boy.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
Blake drinks Coke.
Why do Mexicans only drink hot drinks?
Because they're afraid of ice!
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
😫 😂 😑 🤔 😳 😬 😑 🙄
🥴 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺
🍸🍸 🍸🍸 🍸🍸 🍸 🍸 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴
🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴
Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."