Beverage jokes
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...