Beverage jokes
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer? A: Flanders Red Ale.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
How does Jesus make tea? Hebrews it.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.