Beverage jokes
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Answer: Tequila
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"