Beverage jokes

What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?

They only come out for the boos.

What was King Tut's favorite coffee?

De-coffin-ated.

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

Question: Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Answer: Tequila

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

I got hit with a can of soda.

It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.

My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?

A: Flanders Red Ale.

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Big tits.

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

What did the cookie say to the milk?

What’s up duud?