Beverage jokes
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"