Beverage jokes
When orphans drink milk, they cry.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.