Beverage jokes
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"
Why is the rum gone?
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
When orphans drink milk, they cry.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.