Bed jokes
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
I woke up in my bed today.
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!