Why did the chicken cross the playground? To slide into your moms bed
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said...roll over...
So your wife has died and now she is marginally better in bed than before. If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
dad- HONEY
mom- what
dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed
mom- WHAT!?
children- *staring*
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment...
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole...it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterwords
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a taco in bed
Es(tá co)stado
Why can’t an emo have sex? They can’t make it to the bed they kept swinging on the tree
Mom: son where is my condoms son: what are condoms DAD: she puts it on me and the sandwich son: wait why did my girlfriend come over and take one dad: um I don't know but go to bed son: but it's 2:46pm in the afternoon bruh
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread waiting for a traffic jam
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
