Back jokes

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

Why was the rapper bad at fishing?

Because he always threw back the lines!

Why do jeans always compliment your booty?

Because they’ve got your back!

Why do orphans play baseball?

Because they have to run back to home base.

"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Your hairline starts at the back of your head.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!