Audience jokes

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?

So the haters could SUCK on him!

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Why are theaters popular among cows?

They enjoy watching moovies.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?

To NAVIGATE his way through the CROWD.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?

"What's up?"

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray!”

Orphan jokes aren't to be made fun of.

They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.

THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."