Audience jokes
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.