Audience Jokes

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did to!

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

People might not laugh to my jokes, or have a reaction at all, But I'd explode with euphoria. Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling alsleep (including him)

Hi everyone today I am taking requets for anything u want me to say

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. they are actually pretty funny. and i will show you y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun? Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

Q: why are school shooting jokes funny

A: because their intended for a young audience.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."

Why do we tell actors to break a leg, because every play has a cast!

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!