Audience jokes
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.