Audience Jokes

Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?

To WASH AWAY the haters

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?

To NAVIGATE through the BEATS

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

To DIG DEEP with his lyrics

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips

when you went to a ugly competition the judges said no professionals aloud

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*

Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?

He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk? He didn't have a good counter act

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?

In case he had to drop some BOMBS

Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?

Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert? (Part 1) To NAVIGATE his way through the CROWD

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Pen!s

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”