I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
Attraction Jokes
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
Having sex with three people is a threesome.
Having sex with four people is a foursome.
Then maybe I am handsome after all...
Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!
Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"
#she is sex*
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
