Attraction jokes

Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.

I'm hard right now.

'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)

She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.

One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.

What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?

Cold as hell.

Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!

I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!

Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Having sex with three people is a threesome.

Having sex with four people is a foursome.

Then maybe I am handsome after all...