What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
