I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."
“If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy.”
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
“A foolish man is lactose intolerant, A wise man simply tolerates it” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Warning, All unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art of war
“Remember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"Jesus can turn water into wine,but I can turn your mother into mine " -Sun Tzu the art of creating war
You cannot win a war without a war" -Tun Szu, The art of war
“If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner” Sun Tzu, The Art of War
You can drink drinks but you can't food foods" -Sun Tzu, The art of food
“The naked man fears no pickpocket” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"It's not a war crime if you win the war" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
“If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag.”
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What do lesbians love to use in art class? Scissors.
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
